In life, we are forced to make choices. If we're smart, we evaluate our options and choose the best option for us AT THAT TIME. I am a goal oriented person. I also have priorities in life. I have chosen NEVER to let my goals get in the way of my priorities. The two must align. If a goal doesn't align with my priorities, then it needs to be pushed to the back burner for the time being. A very wise person taught me this.
That being said...even when we make the right choice, that choice can still sting a bit.
This past week was Beachbody's annual Coach Summit. I had gone last year and had the most amazing time. When I got home from Vegas last year, I had immediately bought my ticket for Summit 2014. It was a goal of mine to go back. But, as most of you know, my mama was diagnosed with cancer last fall. Once that happened, I needed to readjust...to realign. By December, I knew I was going to need to book my hotel and airfare soon. But, we still didn't know what the outcome of my mom's cancer battle was going to be. My mom has ALWAYS put me first in her life. Always. And now, I needed to do the same. I needed to be here for her in case she needed me. My William went through some speech therapy last year. It ended when he was 3 & we waited a few months to see if he would continue to progress. He did, but not at the rate I wanted him to. So, for the past 3 months, we've been to numerous dr appointments, screenings, evaluations, etc to see what's going on. We still don't have all the answers. But, we are in the middle of the process of getting him some more intensive therapy...and the MOUNDS of paperwork are overwhelming. The past month or so - he has made tremendous progress...using words I didn't even know he knew and stringing together sentences like a pro. Again, my family needed me here. My boys are my life. My miracles and I would do or give up anything for them. But I won't lie. I sat in my room Thursday night, in tears, watching the general session from Vegas. My head wanted to be there...but my heart knew that I was in the right place. At home. Accessible to my family. It was tough scrolling through Facebook & Instagram seeing everyone's posts and awesome PiYo swag they were getting in The Core (the shopper in me was yearning to be buying up all the cute clothes). But, deep down, I knew I had made the right choice. My family is a priority. And a goal of going to Vegas at a time when my family needed me seemed to not align with my priorities. There will always be another Summit...and Nashville...I'm coming for you in 2015!!!
Then came today. I was supposed to run my third half marathon. My husband started coming down with a cold Friday night and by Saturday afternoon, my sweet Will had it. I don't know why, but colds seem to hit that poor kid so hard. The pre-race adrenaline was setting in last night, so I didn't fall asleep til about 11pm. And then at 1am, I was awoken by the most awful sound. My kid loudly gasping for air. I went into his room and he was trying to cry, but he couldn't even do that. The wheezing was so bad and he was so miserable. I contemplated taking him to the ER, but after some snuggling in our bed, I was able to get the wheezing to calm down a bit and I tucked him back into his bed. But like a protective mama bear...I laid in bed...listening...making sure he didn't start coughing or wheezing or crying again. And just as I was about to drift off...it started again. I snuggled with him some more and then tucked him back into bed. At this point, it's 3:40am. Crap. I have my alarm set for 4. I may as well get up. It was all I could do to stay awake on my way to the race. I just wanted to sleep. But once I got there and met up with my running buddy for the day, I was feeling better and adrenaline started to kick in again. We hit the start line and ran. I usually run alone because, well, I run slow. Like molasses slow. But my friend Tania also runs that pace, so it was nice to have someone running by my side. We were making really good time and at about mile 3, something kinda popped in my hip. Crap. I pushed through for a bit, but at mile 5, I was getting dizzy from the pain and I told Tania to go. This was her first half marathon and I wasn't going to mess this up for her. By mile 5.5 the tears started to flow. I kept pushing as hard as I could. Walking when I needed to and running when I could. But by mile 8.4, I was done. Limping. My right leg didn't want to move on its own. I hobbled over to the finish line...but just sat on the sideline. My first DNF. Did Not Finish. Running another half marathon was a goal of mine. But my family and my personal health are at the top of my priority list. My boys need a mom who is able to walk and function. Yes, I believe in pushing yourself to a certain point, but pushing yourself too hard can be hazardous. And today I had to make that judgement call. My heart said to keep going, but my head said STOP. But the beautiful silver lining is that I got to watch, and video, Tania as she crossed the finish line of her first half marathon. I still got to be there to witness that accomplishment. I'm beyond proud of her. I know I made the right choice by not finishing. Yes, it stings. But, it was the smart thing to do. I'm in a boatload of pain and I can only imagine how much worse it would be if I had gone another 5 miles.
Has the past week been an ideal one? Goodness no. But, that's life. We make choices. We make sacrifices when needed. We make sure our priorities stay in the forefront of our goals...
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